I am a certified professional life and business coach who is in recovery after 16 years of bulimia. I am in my late thirties and in the past 4 years, I have been on a journey to turn my life around. After a very successful, fast-paced corporate career, where I lost the connection with who I really am, I left that job to pursue a life more aligned with my desires & purpose.
My History
I experimented with bulimia in high school, but did not become addicted until college. If I had only known the downward spiral that an ED causes, I would have never started. If you are reading this now and you’ve just started an ED, I urge you to get help now. It’s easier to recover before it becomes chronic. If you have a longer-term ED, know that recovery is possible — I will share my own tips in this blog.
My memories of how the eating disorder (ED) started was body (digestive distress) and mind (perfectionism & wanting the perfect body) — at the time, I was not aware of what was happening in my inner self — my spirit. At the time, I knew nothing about nutrition and it seemed like nothing I ate worked to help my digestion. I didn’t know how to use food to heal my body, how to break my addiction to sugar, how to exercise for health or how to deal with my negative thoughts.
I brought bulimia from college, to my professional life and my marriage. Somehow, I never picked up any other addictions, never went on medication and I had a very “successful life” (if you judge things on the surface & on material things — inside, it was a different story). I did not realize until my 30’s that true success comes from knowing who you are & feeling the joy of life. I never learned the joy of living until I got into recovery.
Mind-Body-Spirit
Once in recovery, I realized that it is important to work on mind, body & spirit to heal completely from any addiction. As I stumbled through my recovery, every time I aligned my mind, body & spirit toward my purpose, it was easy to not binge – which meant I had no need to purge. Every time I aligned my mind, body & spirit, I was more at peace. My heart filled with joy. Every time I started to fear and worry, I stumbled out of recovery. It sounds easy to say — align your mind, body & spirit — but the only reason it “isn’t easy” is because we haven’t learned — or haven’t applied — the thoughts and beliefs that connect us with our greatest good. I worked through a series of steps and developed new coping skills before I was able to REALLY KNOW what it felt like to be in alignment. I will share these in my blog.
As a professional coach, I started to learn to walk my talk. My work with clients was focused on all of the things I was working so hard on myself. Focusing on the positive & really taking steps to make it real for my clients worked wonders for them — and it was excellent proof for me — you get what you focus on. The big turning point in my recovery was when I broke free from everyone else’s rules – and trusted myself to create my own plan. Don’t get me wrong, I was still working with my doctors to heal my body — but the difference was I started to trust MYSELF — my own sense of normal. My digestive issues began to resolve, which made it easier for me to eat in healthy ways. My body and mind began to align, since they no longer felt at war. It was just like one of my doctors said, once I listened to my own intuition, I would stop seeking all of my answers from others.
Biggest Lesson
The biggest lesson I learned in my recovery was to accept that I had bulimia. By this I mean, I didn’t spend all my time wishing I didn’t have it. Wishing something is different from what it currently is – that’s a recipe for suffering & struggle. I learned this from reading my all-time favorite book – Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth. Keep in mind that this has NOTHING to do with being pro-bulimia — to the contrary! It meant that I accepted that I had an addiction, which allowed me the space to do something about it — to finally take responsibility for my recovery.
On page 164 & 165, Eckhart Tolle tells the story of a woman in her 30’s with a great deal of emotional pain. She was suffering emotionally for many years and wanted to get help from Tolle. Tolle asked her to direct her attention to what she was feeling inside her body – to feel her emotions directly – rather than thinking about them through a filter of unhappy thoughts. He asked her to remove “her story” – all of her past experiences & just feel what her body was feeling.
When she did, she began to cry. He told her – “At this moment, this is what you feel….There is nothing you can do about the fact that at this moment this is what you feel. Now, instead of wanting this moment to be different from the way it is, which adds more pain to the pain that is already there, is it possible for you to completely accept that this is what you feel right now?”
The woman became angry – because she didn’t want to accept the way she felt – she wanted to feel different, better. Tolle then asked her, “Who is speaking?…You or the unhappiness in you? Can you see that your unhappiness about being unhappy is just another layer of unhappiness?”
This flipped a switch for me – I realized that my unhappiness about having bulimia was just keeping me unhappy. I began to accept that I had bulimia. I accepted my situation and I invited the universe to show me a new perspective. I opened myself up to a new vision of myself – and of my life – but I did not spend time wishing I was already there. I just believed I would be there. Opening myself up to what I wanted in my life allowed me to begin taking steps to get there. After this process, I began to recover on my own. I still have a coach who supports me, which is wonderful. I also have my husband, who supports me in my recovery as well.
In this blog, I will share the following:
- How to tell people about your eating disorder
- How to ask for the help & support you really need
- How to begin trusting yourself & your body
- How to identify & attract the life you want
I will also provide tips & techniques for:
- What your body might go through in recovery & how to deal with it
- Learing how to wean your body off sugar
- Nutritional information & options for healthy eating that will help your body in recovery
- Selecting doctors who support your mind, body & spirit
- Selecting & working with a coach, therapist or someone who can support your healing
- Life skills that will allow you to become who you really are
- The power of presence – my writings are influenced by what I’ve learned from Eckhart Tolle
- Books & resources that you may find useful
- Developing a mind-body-spirit connection that is in alignment with your true purpose
- How to stop negative thoughts & replace them with positive ones
Recovery Is A Journey Taken One Step At A Time
I am still on my path to recovery and I have a long way to go in my journey. The differnce is, I love this journey. I am taking every day one step at a time and being grateful for my newly peaceful, joyful life. Once I stopped b/p-ing, my whole life started to look different. All the aches and pains started to leave me. My body started to feel healed. I wake up grateful for this every day. This blog will focus on positive, uplifting content — since what you focus on, you attract into your life. Visit with me here and try it out for yourself. We have nothing to lose & everything to gain.
Here are links to all of my sites – with pictures and information:
Professional Coaching Websites
- Now Radiant Health – Aligning mind, body & spirit to create vibrant, radiant health
- Success Summits – Taking high performers to the top – in business & personal life
Personal Blog: This blog has pictures of me, my husband, Joel, and our life in a tiny third-world style Caribbean island.
- Live Your Caribbean Dream – the real-life journal of two thrity-somethings who escaped the rat race to live in paradise.
