TranscendBulimia.com

Yesterday I went to an appointment with Rhonda Lenair, the medical intuitive I credit with being the catalyst for my recovery. This visit was a little different from usual because the night before, I had picked up a client to come with me to visit Rhonda. My client, Sarah, came from Europe – all the way to Benson, VT – for her appointment.

Beautiful Journey
I love this trip – from my home in the White Mountains of New Hampshire, to Benson, VT it is outrageously beautiful. My trip spans the White and Green Mountain ranges – shimmering in a dozen different greens and rising into the sky. Along lovely, winding back roads, I see countless rivers – in a juxtaposition of peaceful rest and flowing activity. I am delighted by the typical New England scenes that made Norman Rockwell so famous: white houses with green shutters, old houses with tall white columns, red brick colonial style homes – plenty of history and all the scenes of people living simple, beautiful lives.

Worrying About What I Can’t Control
Before I picked Sarah up from the Rutland train station, all of the usual concerns crossed my mind (enter perfectionism): Will she like Vermont? What will she think of her appointment with Rhonda? Will it work for her?, etc. So many concerns – and yet, none of them were within my control. Looking back, I am reminded of all the time and energy I have spent worrying about things that are not within my control – worrying on behalf of others. And that worry causes me to not only do more than my share of work to organize things – it also robs me of energy by creating the “what if” stress.

The Best Laid Plans…
For my own appointment with Rhonda, I had several plans for what I wanted to talk about – all kinds of questions about my health, a desire to feel more comfortable in my body and a question about my seemingly addictive relationship with almond butter. Well, all that went out of my head as I lay comfortably on the couch and Rhonda asked me what I wanted to focus on.

The Real Issue
The real issue came up for me in that moment – surrounded by light – through the arched window overlooking the expansive green fields, dotted with trees and yellow flowers. As I sank into the couch, I was aware of this light playing with the soft pink and mother of pearl marble floor – and as Rhonda spoke, my stress melted away. Here I was, back again in the place and with the person who helped me heal my life. This was when the real issue came out: I was still stuck between the “old me” and the “new me.”

Perfectionism
Somehow, Rhonda always has the right question to ask – and that’s how I knew it was perfectionism. While I feel so at peace, so happy with my new life, there are still some vestiges of the old me hanging on. This one – this perfectionism – still shapes how I feel in my personal life. It’s not the same flavor of perfectionism as before. In my personal life, it feels more like there is a subtle fear of what others from my old life will think about me now. The good news is, most of the time, I still stick with where I am – my decisions are better. And yet, I can still feel that old me nudging the new me, like a devil on my shoulder. “Are you sure?”, it asks. Where the perfectionism shows up more often is in my work. Now that I am in a “caring” profession as a business and life/health coach, I am in more of a caretaking role and there’s a whole host of old stuff that enters into my life here.

Caretaking in a Caring Profession
Caretaking is a big energy drain when we go out of our way for others at the expense of ourselves. This is something I did all the time in my old life – especially on the job. So here I am in my own business – in a caretaking-type profession. Ah ha, that’s the trick. This is where the universe has come in to teach me another great lesson – how do you care for yourself so well, how do you create boundaries, so you have the energy to take care of others?

Some of this is giving up that old pressure-cooker called perfectionism. What a relief to just utter the words to Rhonda. And as she asked me how I’d feel if I let it go, my relief was palpable as I responded, “free.” So our focus was this: “The force of perfectionism – the inability to allow yourself to get out of it’s box and live free.”

Speaking As Me, To Me
The next 30 minutes were filled with Rhonda speaking as me – to me – so that I was able to hear the secrets locked inside myself. She does not allow me to tell her anything, because she says that when I tell her things, they come from the filters that I’ve created through my past experiences. When she speaks, she is telling me what is blocked off from my own knowledge – what I can’t see, hear or feel. While we all have inner wisdom, it can be blocked and this is where we get stuck.

Looking At Every Angle
One of the things that Rhonda says, which I love, is that we have the ability to truly understand a situation when we can “orbit around it” 360 degrees and see it from every angle. Since most of us look at things through a filter of past conditioning, we probably rarely orbit completely around it. We make a judgment based on part of the story. She also said things that reminded me that everything is okay – no right, no wrong, no good, no bad. There is nothing like the relief that comes from knowing that all we are is okay – from this place, I feel like I can move forward – this is acceptance.

Coming Home to Myself
During my session, I learned many things and as usual, I was inspired by the feelings that I have when with Rhonda. It’s been described by others as true empathy, beyond anything they have experienced. For me, it feels like coming home to myself – because Rhonda gives me the gift of seeing myself through her eyes – eyes with no filters of right, wrong, good or bad. It’s like complete acceptance of myself.

Now, each time I go, I also look forward to seeing Barry – Rhonda’s husband and who I consider the ambassador to Rhonda’s work – and Beaujolais, their beautiful dog. Counting backwards, I have been visiting them for over 4 years, each time, getting stronger and healthier in mind, body and spirit.

My Actions Outlined
After the session, Barry came in and Rhonda shared what we covered, so he could write it up for me. I now have an outline of things to avoid and incorporate. This time, there was a focus on physical things, mainly – and definitely things I needed to hear. Like the part about not pushing forward if I have a kink in my body – something I tend to do after growing up with an athlete father who taught me to “sweat it out.” While I’ve been so much better at listening to my body, that old me would still interfere at times. Rhonda spoke the words I needed to hear out loud – so that my body, whose voice could be ignored, would not be further injured.

My Client’s Experience
My client had an amazing session as well. She asked me to come in at the end so that I could take my own notes from her session – to work with her on incorporating what she learned. It was fascinating to be part of someone else’s discovery of themselves – and to hear how much Rhonda knows about their life. I sensed that she felt what my client was feeling as she spoke the words my client wanted herself to hear.

And all that worrying I did before our appointments? As usual, it was for nothing. Sarah chattered happily as we drove back to her hotel – talking about what she learned, eagerly anticipating her next sessions – and already planning her next trip to Benson, Vermont for future sessions she wanted to have.

The End of the World As We Know It
As we drove, she said, “They picked a place to live at the end of the world.” I think she is right about that. It’s the end of the world as we know it and an entrance into a new possibility – one where we can get in touch with our true essence and break free from what keeps us stuck. One where we can meet ourselves through the eyes of another – feeling unconditional love and acceptance.

Almond Butter Addiction — A Metaphor for Life?
Oh, and about the almond butter addiction? Rhonda said that I need to incorporate a range of nut butters – reminding me of what I know deep down, but was unwilling to fully honor – I get stuck on one thing and make a habit of it. It’s time to focus on a range of things to fully nourish myself, without getting stuck on one thing. Hmm, sounds like a metaphor for life, huh? Could be. In any event, I already feel less perfect today. I can feel myself making decisions to care for myself – to do enough, without doing too much.

Pictures: These are pictures of my visit to Rhonda and Barry. Sarah also gave me permission to use her name. I wanted to take pictures of their beautiful house and land surrounding their home, but as we walked out of the house, I forgot my mission and enjoyed the scenery sans camera. See, I’m already less perfect and I feel pretty good about it! And even better, Barry sent me a great picture of their home — so being imperfect actually has its plusses! Somehow, everything always works out.

PS — Who Me? A Writer?
I should probably mention that Rhonda is the one who told me over a year ago that I’d be writing. That one struck me as odd — who me, a writer? No way. Then, in December — just 6 months later, I started my Caribbean blog and it changed my life. It started out awkwardly and then my creative spirit jumped out of me with both feet. Two months later I started this blog and was blogging two articles per day. I was in heaven, having found a joy I would never have thought possible from writing. I used to long to sing or paint and now — while those desires are still there, I feel fulfilled creatively by writing. And interestingly enough, I am ghost writing for a famous author — having written two lengthy articles and starting on the first of what could be several books. Who knew? Well, I guess I knew somewhere deep inside — and Rhonda saw it for me.

News & Reminders about the Lenairs:

• Rhonda has generously offered discounts for Transcend readers who schedule appointments before the end of August.
• Rhonda and Barry will be traveling to treat people in other areas this year – they are planning to be in the Toronto area of Ontario starting September 22nd, Ohio (Columbus area) in October and Pennsylvania (Philadelphia area) from October 13 – November 3. Contact Barry at barry@lenair.com or 802-537-3222 to find out more or schedule an appointment.
• Listen to interviews with Rhonda and telegatherings

People who looked at this item also looked at…

• The Secret Behind The Secret – By Michael Neill
• Elements of A Relapse – Part 1
• Bulimia Recovery: Stopping the Cycle of Relapse Part 2
• Resources
• Reminder – Free Coaching Group Application Deadline This Thursday!

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