Comments on: I Just Want To Be Normal

By: JF

JF — Sun, 17 Sep 2006 02:29:58 +0000

Dear Heather, i was wanting to talk to you because a friend told me you really inspired her by helping her through tough times by just talking to her. So i was just needing someone who really understands and you sound like the right person. So I have now struggled with bulimia for 12 years now and it is becoming scary. I have been in 7 different treatment centers and nothing has helped me. I am so scared of letting others in putting that wall down to let people help me. How do you put that wall down and allow others to help you, i want to be in recovery and be healthy and not so sickly. How do i do that and fighting bulimia everyday i am not living i am only existing, because i am so into the bulimia i don’t think about anythign else but food and etc. So if you would please write me back here is my email address heather for you to email me back if you would please — okay please email me and i will email you back okay.

thanks

By: Heather

Heather — Fri, 15 Sep 2006 18:47:11 +0000

Hi PTC, you are so right. I just went to Carol Tuttle’s dressing your truth workshop and what I learned there was to love the body I’m in — and appreciate who I really am. That’s when I really got grounded in being grateful for the body God/the Universe/Higher Power/Source gave us. There is no weight or shape that is normal — even though the fashion industry has shown us what they think is normal. In any case, I learned how to love my own body and dress it in a way that speaks my truth. It feels fabulous not to hide anymore. Hiding my body was another way of stuffing fear. I’ll write more about it later — your comment just reminded me that I still had work to do there — and how much the workshop helped me!!

WIth love,
Heather

By: Heather

Heather — Fri, 15 Sep 2006 18:44:01 +0000

Hi Sarah, Yes — absolutely — what a different world we’d be in if we all just looked at ourselves and realized there is no such thing as normal! I am grateful for people like you who will spread the word about authenticity as a coach and mentor! What an amazing difference you are already making in the world, having carved your own path and sharing it with others!

With love,
Heather

By: Heather

Heather — Fri, 15 Sep 2006 18:41:31 +0000

Hi Meg, You and Emily are right on! We create our own definition of what’s right for us. Somehow, we all learned to compare ourselves with others and decide we were less than what we saw around us. Probably based on someone else’s definition of what’s right. We all have our own unique gifts and talents and when we try to fit the mold someone else created, the whole world loses and we suffer.

It’s cool that both you and Emily know what it’s like to live in two different countries and cultures. It brings a wider perspective about the idea of normal, doesn’t it? What a gift that is!

With love,
Heather

By: Heather

Heather — Fri, 15 Sep 2006 18:32:32 +0000

Hi Emily, Bravo — you have graduated past normal and are looking for YOUR OWN ideal. I love that, hooray! You are so right about learning how others feel inside, what a shame it is that we all learn to carry around so much fear and pain — thinking the grass is always greener somewhere else. Funny how the internet has brought us the blessing of getting to know ourselves through others.

With love,
Heather

By: Meg

Meg — Fri, 08 Sep 2006 02:25:54 +0000

Great insights on ‘normal’!

I thought I knew what is normal until I moved from China to Canada. I agree what Emily said that there just may not even be a normal. Accepting everybody is different is important to me.
Meg

By: Palmtreechick

Palmtreechick — Thu, 07 Sep 2006 01:41:29 +0000

I often wonder what it would be like to be “normal” too. What would it be like to not have to worry about every piece of food that goes into my mouth, how much exercise I do, what I weigh and what a normal meal is. The thought of eating a “normal” meal scares me. I don’t even know what a “normal” meal is. To me it’s one thing and to everyone else it’s another.

Normal to mean would mean not having to worry about all the food/weight related stuff I obsess about everyday.

By: Emily

Emily — Sun, 03 Sep 2006 20:20:16 +0000

Hi Heather,

I’ve often pondered the relativity of the word “normal.” What’s normal to one person is so different from what’s normal to the next! Who defines the norm? Whose norm are we trying to follow, to mold ourselves after?

For the longest time, I felt the way you felt: I thought others had it all figured out. I thought they had their lives under control – their cravings, their exercise routine, their fashion style, their hairdo… Like you, I’ve come to realize that everyone has their own insecurities beneath the surface. Most people have doubts and fears. I guess it’s safe to say ALL people do.

Blogging has opened up a whole other world to me. I LOVE reading people’s thoughts and what’s going on inside! It has helped me to realize that most people who look really put together on the outside (and I would have formerly felt intimidated by) do not feel that way on the inside. Everyone experiences some degree of inner chaos and doubt. (Some of us more so than others, and inner stability and strength is definitely what I am striving for!)

I no longer look at thin people thinking they are so lucky. I realize that, for most people, being thin isn’t a gift that comes without hard work and determination – or, unfortunately, often, a fair share of self-abuse.

Throughout the years, my concept of what’s “normal” also has changed quite a bit. For the longest time, I accepted discomfort in my body as the “normal” state. Comfort was “ideal,” but discomfort was “normal.”

Now, I am not quite sure what I would consider “normal.” I will put some more thought into it. To be quite honest, I think there just may not even be a normal. The word is so subjective. I’m not sure it’s even worth trying to define it. What I can do, though, is to define what’s “ideal” for me and strive to achieve that, all the while accepting that I cannot ALWAYS be in that ideal state.

Thanks for another great thought-provoking post, Heather!

love,
Emily