I used to have Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)– big time. In fact, I used to feel depressed a lot and it just got worse when we had to set the clocks back an hour. There were lots of reasons I could come up with as I looked wracked my brain for the whys. As far back as my college days, for example, I remember starting to feel the already cold winds of Burlington, Vermont — cutting through my clothing and reminding me of winter’s imminent doom. Winter and I did not get along very well at the time — winter meant not only dark, but cold.
Sunday Blues
Hooked in to my thought process was the Sunday blues. I was focused on dread most of the time — dread of studying, dread of going to classes, dread of tests. Underneath it all was dread of failing, of not being good enough. I put so much pressure on myself in high school and college that I was in a constant state of alert stress — what else do I need to do, what have I forgotten, what did I do wrong? These were my internal tapes, my mantras.
What Good Are Affirmations?
At night my freshman year in college, I’d play a tape of affirmations before I went to bed, my roomate humoring me by overlooking my quirks. This, I thought, was the answer. And yet, that tape of powerful affirmations was no match for the tape playing in my mind during my waking hours — what else do I need to do, what have I forgotten, what did I do wrong?
The Need To Do More Or Fail
So I got used to this habit of feeling like if I did not DO enough during the daylight hours — and the darkness of night fell — I failed. I failed to take advantage of the day to get my long list of things done. And each night, I drove the feeling of failure into my mind and body. I was not allowed to rest — I had too much to do — so when I did rest, I was an even bigger failure. And sadness was equated with darkness.
I don’t think it helps that as women, we feel our power torn out from under us as darkness falls. It was then that campus security reminded us that we needed to call them to be escorted from building to building — no longer free to walk safely from the library to our dorm-homes. So somewhere in the feelings of failure was a mixture of anger and fear…and yes, something like helplessness.
My Vicious Cycle
One day, I realized this is what I was doing. I realized what I had done to myself, but at this point, I had also damaged my digestive system through years of bulimia. At the time, I didn’t know what kind of vicious cycle I had created — a strong neural pathway in my brain connecting darkness to failure and lack of safety — and the physical effects of bulimia. I didn’t realize that there was a physical reason I’d also feel different in the darker days. The reason is less serotonin.
The Connection To Low Serotonin
Keep in mind that studies show that eating disorders are related to issues with serotonin — mainly, not enough of this feel good hormone. Some studies show that people are predisposed to eating disorders due to lack of tryptophan — I think the studies looked at tryptophan in the spine or something. Considering that the sun stimulates serotonin production, we now have a physical reason why SAD may start to show up. Less sun could equal less stimulation to produce serotonin. So now, we must rely on our bodies to produce enough.
Poor Digestion Can Lead to Low Serotonin
Except most people have poor digestion in today’s fast-paced, stressed out, fast food society. The way serotonin is made is through the digestion of proteins, which most people lack the stomach acid to digest properly. Proteins break down into the essential amino acid tryptophan — essential becuase it must come from food since our bodies don’t make it. Tryptophan is then broken down into the neurotransmitter serotonin. 95% of serotonin lives in our gut. If we have issues with digestion and gut issues, we may be low in serotonin — so take away the sun and we may be deficient enough for SAD. If digestion gets even worse, we may go into full depression. Drugs that treat depression typically pull serotonin from the gut into the brain, trying to fill the brain’s receptors with the feel good hormone. The idea with addictions is that the same relief is being sought — move that serotonin around the body so that I can just feel good.
So What To Do?
For one, start to pay attention to the tapes playing in the back of your mind. What thoughts are you thinking? What are you telling yourself? Your thoughts are powerful — they become beliefs, actions, habits. Get to know how your mind is working so that you can start to train it to benefit, rather than limit your power.
Extreme Self-Care
The other thing to consider is creating a self-care routine. As we move into shorter days and colder days, our bodies want to rest and relax. Our minds, on the other hand, miss the long days and activities of summer. Our minds also try to tell our bodies that they have to keep going, keep achieving. Consider looking at your list of “to do’s” and figuring out what it’s really getting you. Perhaps some extra sleep, meditation, a warm bath, reading an inspirational book or journaling would bring more benefits in energy and vitality than anything else on your to do list.
Cross It Off!
Having once been a busy (albeit burned out) executive, I know what it feels like to BELIEVE I had to get everything done or the sky would fall. Truth is, it never did. When I started crossing things off my to do list, no one noticed. NO ONE. I still got my job done, I started to feel better and magic started to happen. I even got promoted — who’d have thought? I didn’t get better at doing my list of things, I got better at being — and through my being, I accomplished more. Things started to fall into place and I became a better leader. Try it — isn’t it worth the experiment to remove some to do’s and just BE for awhile?
Rest & Digest
Finally, consider your digestion. There are several things you can do to help your digestion. First, reduce your stress — since your body can’t digest when it shifts from parasympathetic (rest and digest) mode into sympathetic (fight or flight) mode. In fact, constant stress puts you in freeze mode, effectively halting digestion…so where does the food go? This is where inflammation, leaky gut, candida, weight gain and auto-immune issues start to occur. Our bodies want to be fit — it’s the battle we start when we let our minds lead our bodies to exhaustion that contributes to the war we feel with them. I fixed my digestion by following the Body Ecology Diet – firstly, focusing on eating these high energy foods, eliminating sugar and proper food combining. After getting used to that, I started to add probiotics and fermented foods, to boost my healthy bacteria — which create energy in our bodies, give us the nutrients we need and help our serotonin production.
Get Out Your Bag of Tricks
Today, I notice the shorter days — I notice the difference in my body and yet, I still carry my inner joy into the night. I have my little bag of tricks if I ever backslip into feeling like I didn’t use my day to DO. I use EFT and other energy techniques I learned from Carol Tuttle and more recently, I started using amazing Forever Young essential oils. The essential oil E-Motion is like a little charge of happiness in a bottle — just a couple of drops on my feet and I’m good to go. These oils are the highest quality I’ve found on the market and I’ll share more about all of the ways I’m using them in another post.
Treat yourself well as the days get shorter — nourish yourself with self-love by finding some YOU time each day. Consider getting outside for just 15 minutes each day to capture the sun’s rays and boost your serotonin. You deserve it!
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