TranscendBulimia.com

February 18, 2006

Recovery – Learning to Trust Your Body

Filed under: Recovery Actions — Heather @ 8:16 pm

How To Trust Your Body During Recovery

  1. Know that you will feel some discomfort during recovery - trust that this is part of the process.
  2. Let go of your need to control the outcome - what happens is what happens, we can’t change it. We can do things to make it better, like adjust how we eat or what we eat (e.g., organic foods, cooked vegetables instead of raw, avoidance of gas-producing foods until our intestines heal, etc.).
  3. Surrender – accept that this is the normal process. If you wish it away, get anxious about your body or get angry, you will increase your suffering. Once you focus your mind on what you wish “wasn’t true,” all of your energy starts to go into negative thoughts. If you focus your mind on accepting that you are recovering & your body may feel discomfort, your mind can be free to focus on the positives of recovery.
  4. Disengage your thoughts after eating - after you eat, do something active — go for a walk, call a friend, do the dishes, read a book or leave the house and go somewhere. Take your mind off of what you just ate & how it feels in your body. This really helped me — once I accepted that my body was feeling discomfort, I stopped thinking about it & used my mind for something else. If I focused on the way I felt & got anxious about it, I’d want to b/p. Once I realized this, I could disengage my thoughts from my body & do something to get me away from the kitchen & out of my head. Take your mind out of your body. Put your mind on something fun, uplifting and engaging.
  5. Eat when you are hungry - If you let yourself get too hungry, it could trigger a b/p. Studies show this to be true — if your body thinks it’s starving, it wants more — and more — and more. You lose the ability to become satisfied after a normal amount of food.
  6. Find your own normal - no one can tell you what’s normal for the quantity you eat. There are some guidelines from Ayurveda, a 5,000-year old Indian wellness practice. Ayurveda says that a guideline is to eat a meal the size of your two fists. The rest is for warm liquid, like tea & empty space to digest. While this is a guideline, you must trust yourself to find your own normal — experiment. If you make a mistake, experiment with something else the next time. Bodies don’t get fat overnight — trust yours to guide you. Sometimes you may eat more, sometimes less — that may be normal for you. The only way to know is to experiment — and to stay aware — stay in the moment, so that you can “listen” to your body. Close your eyes and visualize your inner body. Feel the aliveness, the tingling or any energy that it has. This is your true self, inside your body. It is the real you, rather than your outer body. Your inner body is where YOU are — your spirit. The more you tap into this, the more you will trust your own normal, rather than listening to someone else’s. All books are written for the masses – diets, etc., are all written for a conglomeration of people, not individuals. Each individual has different needs. For example, oranges & tomatoes are really bad for ME — while they might be very good for you or someone else. I never would have known this because everyone always says how good for you they are. The more you tap into your inner body, the more it will guide you. You’ll be listening to your heart, to your soul.
  7. End the mind-body war - As bulimics, we lose this mind-body connection because we are at war with our bodies. Imagine if the U.S. and Canada were at war? Canada sits on top of the U.S., like the head sits on top of the body. Both are innately important and intelligent. If you only live in Canada and never listen to the U.S., you wouldn’t know about the intelligence and wonder that is there — and vice versa. Now imagine them at war — no ability to cross the border. Everyone suspicious of each other, shooting each other, bombing each other. If you lived in one of these countries, wouldn’t you want to move? Would you feel safe? Now go back to your mind & body. How safe does either one feel when they are at war? Something magical happens when you start to trust. Since your body cannot talk in voices, you have to tune into your inner body to feel, to sense what it is asking you to do. If it is in pain, what does it need? If it is hungry, what does it want to eat? What will nourish it? What exercise will make it feel most well? Start to work in harmony and see what kind of trust starts to happen. In a war between the mind & the body, the body will always win. The head cannot walk around without the body. It can fail you & win the war. It can cripple you and win the war. Or your mind can let your body be its guide. Your mind can be the intelligence out in the world — it can speak to others and solve complex problems. And your body can guide the mind for matters of the heart — the spirit.
  8. Look in the mirror with love - your mind is what judges your body. How can your mind know what’s best for your body — especially when they’ve been at war? Is it what others say that is right for your body? Remember that what others say is “right” or what it “should” be is all made up for media and image. Consider that most models either have eating disorders or drug problems (e.g., Kate Moss). Is this the “right” we want to live? Whose right are we buying into? Does that person’s right allow you to live a wonderful life? Do you feel stifled, imprisoned? When it’s right for YOU, you feel peace, you feel a release. It might be scary — because you aren’t sure others will approve — but it will feel freeing. Once I started to do what was right for me, I noticed some people really started to admire me more — even like me more — because my true self was shining. The perfect person that they felt intimidated by was no longer there. No one is perfect — people like humans, not Stepford wives. Of course there may be some friends who won’t accept changes in you — my question would be — are they really friends? There are all kinds of people out there waiting to love you for you. Trust this, just like you will trust your body.
  9. Dress for comfort - wear comfortable clothes. Throw away or give away the clothes you wear to prove you are at your skinniest. These only serve to judge your progress based on weight, rather than how you feel — and how your body feels. Go into your inner body to find out how you feel. If you keep using mind tricks like numbers and sizes and clothing, you’ll end up continuing the cycle that imprisons you. Your body will continue to be imprisoned by your mind.
  10. Stop using numbers - scales, counting calories, counting everything — assigning things with numbers is only a mind-created attempt at controlling your body. Remember, your body will win the war and you will end up with both body & mind in prison as long as you continue to try to suppress your body. Give your body a chance to show you how healthy it can be — with love, nurturing and trust. The body doesn’t know numbers, only the mind does. It’s like asking you to speak Chinese — or to take orders in Chinese, when you only know English or Dutch or Spanish. It just doesn’t work. It will never work — Chinese is a difficult language to learn. Your body’s language is also difficult to learn — unless you give it a chance.

What are your thoughts about this list? Have anything to add? I’d love to hear from you — we can all learn from each other!

4 Comments

  1. I have just read the lovely piece about trusting your body, it has really helped me this evening. I have had bulimia for over 8 years, I wont bore you with the story but it’s been madness. I’m slowly getting better, but I still binge when i’m lonley and I have gained over two stones in the past year after I started to eat normally. I now hate my fat body I use to be very fit and abused my body in the gym every night. I probably looked great but I felt dreadful inside. I will try the things you have written about. I know I need to accept myself but I have gone from a UK size 10-12 to a 14-16. Nothing fits me and I look big.
    I’ve just started yoga and swimming, I feel that I want gentle exercise and need some spirtual peace…not pumping away on the dreadmill hating every moment of it.
    I think i’m over eating hence the weight gain, i’m trying to eat an average diet…wholemeal bread, natural yoguarts, fish, meat, veggies and fruit. I do get bad sugar cravings and have started supplements in my diet.
    I think this web site is fantastic, I found it yesterday by accident…keep up the good work and any ideas would be helpful in my recovery.

    Comment by lynze — June 7, 2006 @ 12:39 pm

  2. Hi Lynze, I am so glad you found my site — and I thank you for your kind words! I want to acknowledge you for your progress as you move toward recovery!

    Yoga and swimming are wonderful forms of exercise and I admire your awareness in wanting to do gentle forms of fitness. I can identify with your feelings about working out in the gym!

    My guess is that you may have candida, as many of us with ED do. You may want to go to the Body Ecology website: http://bodyecology.com and take the candida questionnaire. It can help you see if candida could be a problem. If it is, you may want to look into the Body Ecology Diet book. I recovered by following this diet — yet it’s not a conventional diet about calorie counting. It’s a body repair plan that uses food to balance your inner ecosystem. For me, it stopped sugar cravings and the desire to binge.

    Take a look at the website and see what you think! I hope you keep stopping by and I’d love to hear how you are doing!

    With love,
    Heather

    Comment by Heather — June 8, 2006 @ 8:20 pm

  3. Hi Heather

    Thanks for the reply, you are probably right about the candida. I have seen what you are supposed to eat on these plans and it looked a nightmare, especially as my parner enjoys eating out and I eat out alot due to the distance I travel to work. No excuse really if it means recovering from this horrible illness. I do think that my mood also triggers my binges, one minute i’m okay and the next I’m stuffing my face.

    I will look at that ecology diet, if it worked for you then I hope it’l sort me out too.
    I’m really beginning to notice that my body has had enough, I cant sleep and i’m sluggish all the time. Sorry to moan!!

    Is this book available in the UK as I have seen it on the net priced in dollars?
    Many thanks
    Lynze

    Comment by lynze — June 12, 2006 @ 1:55 pm

  4. Hi Lynze, you might try Amazon in the UK for the Body Ecology Diet book. Make sure you get the 9th edition, which just came out — it has the latest updates. If they don’t have it, I sell it on my website, Now Radiant Health. I get good shipping prices to the UK, since I send Body Ecology products all over the world to my clients. My shipping prices are a lot lower than typical because I take it to the post office myself! :)

    I understand what you mean about it being difficult. I found the candida diet difficult too, but I find the BED easier. You can eat out fairly easy — just a few tricks and it’s very easy to do. I’m going to be putting my booklet out soon that teaches how to eat out and travel on BED.

    You can also check out my Now Radiant Health website for the Crew Cooler I recommend from eBags. I had an executive role in my corporate job and wanted an insulated lunch bag that looked right for my work. This one is great — lots of space for a few meals, water bottles, extra organizer pockets, etc. I’m not sure if they ship to the UK, but you’ll get the idea when you see it.

    Believe me, I moaned too when I started doing it!!! But like any new habit, once you get going, it becomes second nature. I agree with the author of BED, go step by step, at your own pace. Try it out and see how you feel.

    I’d love to hear how it goes for you!

    With love,
    Heather

    Comment by Heather — June 14, 2006 @ 4:10 pm

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