Do affirmations work? Not if they are simply affirmations….
What I mean by that is, if you think you can just say something over and over — without BELIEVING it — then no, affirmations don’t work. The thing is, we are powerful creators of our own experience.
That’s a good thing, if our thoughts and beliefs support us. It’s a bad thing if they don’t.
If I say, “I am smart and confident,” all day long, but in my subconcious mind I don’t feel smart and confident, then I sabotage my affirmation. So how do you make an affirmation stick?
That’s the challenge.
Deeply Held Beliefs – Our Subconscious
For me, one of the deeply held beliefs that I had was negative body image. When I first recovered, I was underweight for awhile, so everything seemed peachy. The challenge came in when I became normal weight and suddenly, I was bigger than I had been in many many years.
It didn’t matter how often I said “I love my body” as long as the deeply held belief was there sabotaging me.
There are several ways to attack these limiting beliefs that don’t serve us:
- Be in the moment - be aware of your thoughts and feelings in each moment. In this way, you can catch yourself if you are starting to feel bad and address the thoughts.
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If you catch yourself feeling bad because of a limiting belief, get rid of it! Sounds too easy, huh? It’s not…because we have a habit of holding on. This is where, for me, techniques really helped. The Emotional Freedom Techique (EFT) is one of my favorites because it helps me shift my energy inthe moment.
In fact, I remember one time I was traveling and I was feeling bad about my body (this was before I truly accepted myself at my normal weight). I wrote down the feelings and thoughts I was thinking and tapped them out with EFT. I had to go through 4 rounds of EFT before I felt better. But just like magic, I actually went from feeling hopeless and depressed to peaceful and calm.
No, EFT is not an instant cure all. You don’t do it once and ta-da, it’s cured. EFT is an excellent technique that you can use when you catch yourself feeling bad, depressed or about to binge. The trick is the part about catching yourself. AND over time, if you continue to catch yourself and do EFT (or proactively do EFT), you’ll find yourself falling into those limiting beliefs and feelings less and less…then not at all!
Most of us are so used to being in autopilot that we don’t want to stop and address what we are feeling…sometimes our habit of rushing to our numbing addiction feels easier and better at the time.
Doing an exercise on finding and working with your beliefs, like the one I wrote about from Louise Hay’s book, is great too! Do whatever works to get you feeling better.
- Get help from a healing professional – any healer of your choice is great! I have benefitted so much from having a coach and seeing Rhonda Lenair, a medical intuitive. I’ve also loved my recent session with Dr. Tom Bayne for the healing technique called Infinite Love & Gratitude.
What I love about getting help from a healing professional is that if my energy is feeling so low and stuck that it’s hard to pull myself out, I can get guidance, hope and inspiration from my healing professional. It’s amazing how much better it feels afterwards! This is also why I love going to conferences, like Louie Hay’s I Can Do It event.
- Surround yourself with high energy, supportive friends - This has been my goal for the past 2 years. Even though I live in the middle of nowhere, I set an intention to attract high energy friends (i.e., they believe in their power to create and taking responsibility for their growth). I now have several wonderful, supportive friends that love me for who I truly am. I am infinitely grateful to have found these wonderful souls and to finally feel like I can be ME.
- Do what makes your heart sing - Find out what it is you truly love to do. It might seem crazy, you might question whether you deserve it or it might not seem possible (hint: all limiting beliefs!), but at the very least, be open to it coming into your life! As you work on your beliefs, you may start to come across ideas and people that will help you get to where your heart sings. I believe we can make money doing just about anything — if we are open to attracting the ideas and people that can help us make it happen.
And last, but not least….
Now that you have some ideas for how to work with your thoughts and beliefs, try affirmations and see what happens! You may find they start to work. These days, I actually feel good about my body image and I think this new belief just showed up after going through the process I outlined above. It’s funny how one day, you can just realize that a belief that plagued you is finally gone — it’s so wonderful!
The trick is for us to cope in the meantime by keeping our energy up – feeling good more of the time than feeling bad. Any feeling that is better than a bad feeling you are having is the goal. Especially when you get that “better feeling” from doing something that supports you, rather than breaks you down.
Tomorrow I will share some of Louise Hay’s affirmations for anorexia, bulimia and binge eating – along with some of the others that show up with eating disorders and addictions.
Some of my friends use Louise Hay’s affirmations as EFT scripts, which is a wonderful idea and one that I’ve started doing recently too.
Until tomorrow, focus on what thoughts and feelings are taking up a lot of the space in your mind. Notice what your beliefs are and decide if they are supporting you or limiting you. You deserve to feel good and have the life you want! Do you believe it’s possible?
Heather I am just in awe reading your blog about the I can Do it conference I am so jealous Thnak you for sharing
An dthen this one on eating disorders
I am taking this info to my dietition today
I miss hearing from you but am so glad you are writing in your blog
Much love
KAren
Comment by karen — May 31, 2007 @ 3:36 pm
Hi Karen, Thanks for stopping by! I’m glad you liked this post — it was fun to write, especially after being immersed in it at the conference!
I am happy to be writing again too — I missed this form of expression and connecting with everyone. I’ve missed you too and am sending love and light your way.
Love,
Heather
Comment by Heather — May 31, 2007 @ 7:27 pm
Hi Heather,
What you said here,
Most of us are so used to being in autopilot that we don’t want to stop and address what we are feeling…sometimes our habit of rushing to our numbing addiction feels easier and better at the time.
…that is so true. I feel like I go through phases in my life. Some where I am more willing to be aware the majority of the time. Others when it just feels too exhausting.
Your entire blog is one big wonderful reminder, Heather. A reminder to do the things that I know will make me feel better and to live in accordance with my true self.
lots of love,
Emily
Comment by Emily Jolie — June 2, 2007 @ 12:50 pm
Hi Em, thanks for your kind words. The thing I love about writing this blog is that it not only centers my energy, I also hope to inspire others to be at their very best.
I just KNOW how much power and intution we all have. That’s usally why we end up with addictions. We want to DO something big, but we don’t always know what it is. We feel things deeply, we have big emotions, we want to contribute something. But maybe we don’t feel good enough to do the big things we want to do.
There is something so amazing about coming to a place of hope, peace and balance. Where we can contemplate our dreams and learn to trust in our abilities.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could get these messages whever we turned? So we could feel good enough all the time?
I think there are more and more books, magazines and TV shows that promote a positive point of view that helps uplift us from our fears. If I can contribute to that in some small way, I am honored and grateful.
Love,
Heather
Comment by Heather — June 3, 2007 @ 9:58 pm
Oh, you contribute to that so much, Heather! You lift us up on your angel wings!
Comment by Emily Jolie — June 4, 2007 @ 1:50 am