Comments on: Book Review: Body & Soul: A Guide To Lasting Recovery…by Susan Meltsner http://transcendbulimia.com/archives/72 An uplifting journey to recovery from bulimia - with tips and coaching for your own recovery. Wed, 02 Jul 2008 19:39:40 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Heather http://transcendbulimia.com/archives/72/comment-page-1#comment-67 Heather Fri, 07 Apr 2006 18:25:29 +0000 http://transcendbulimia.com/?p=72#comment-67 Hi Emily, I think you make excellent points about not wanting to be helped -- perhaps the listening is what we want more of in the beginning. It's great that you are aware of this in yourself -- I was definitely aware of it in myself in the past 4 years. Also, if I find myself complaining about something over and over again, I recognize the same quality in myself -- I am talking and talking, but not really doing anything about it. Awarness of this is the first step though, right? :) Thanks for your words about my posts -- I also love reading yours! It's fun to visit each other's blogs -- kind of like a virtual visit for a cup of tea! Something warm and comforting to look forward to! With love, Heather Hi Emily, I think you make excellent points about not wanting to be helped — perhaps the listening is what we want more of in the beginning. It’s great that you are aware of this in yourself — I was definitely aware of it in myself in the past 4 years. Also, if I find myself complaining about something over and over again, I recognize the same quality in myself — I am talking and talking, but not really doing anything about it. Awarness of this is the first step though, right? :)

Thanks for your words about my posts — I also love reading yours! It’s fun to visit each other’s blogs — kind of like a virtual visit for a cup of tea! Something warm and comforting to look forward to!

With love,
Heather

]]> By: Emily http://transcendbulimia.com/archives/72/comment-page-1#comment-65 Emily Thu, 06 Apr 2006 05:16:03 +0000 http://transcendbulimia.com/?p=72#comment-65 Hi Heather, I can relate to how the book has a different meaning to you now that you are in recovery. Although I haven't experienced this specifically with a book on EDs or addiction, I have had similar experiences with other self-help books. When I was in a funk, it was almost like I did not want to hear anyone's advice on how to improve my life. This was because I wasn't really committed to the cause. I was stuck in a poor-me state, and reading about how to take charge in my life and make it better just seemed to put me on the defensive. Although I THOUGHT I wanted to be happy, I really didn't. Rereading some of the same books at a time in my life when I truly was committed to making it the best it possibly could be, they had a completely different meaning for me. Having experienced this on myself, I am very aware that people don't necessarily want your advice on how to feel better when they are down. Often, they want pity. Although I don't always succeed at this, I make an effort not to buy into people's energy games. Because it doesn't do them any good. It doesn't empower them. It just contributes to keeping them stuck where they are. I had a patient who was always depressed and cried in every treatment. She would say to me 'Oh Emily, what I am going to do without you when you graduate! Coming to see you is the ONLY thing that helps me!' As glad as I was that my treatments were helping her, I didn't want her to look to the outside for a fix and develop a co-dependent relationship with me. It was challenging to be compassionate with her and at the same time firm. I did my best to encourage her and let her know she had the necessary strength within herself. I know, I, too, sometimes play energy games without realizing it. We all do. I think I do it much less often, though, than when I was a teenager, and I tend to catch myself doing it more quickly. Then I can consciously take a different approach. Heather, I love how your posts get me to think and take a closer look at my own life and actions! You are wonderful, and I am glad you have come into my life when you did! with much love, Emily P.s.: I, too, thought Maya had some excellent questions for your husband and look forward to reading what he has to say! Hi Heather,

I can relate to how the book has a different meaning to you now that you are in recovery. Although I haven’t experienced this specifically with a book on EDs or addiction, I have had similar experiences with other self-help books. When I was in a funk, it was almost like I did not want to hear anyone’s advice on how to improve my life. This was because I wasn’t really committed to the cause. I was stuck in a poor-me state, and reading about how to take charge in my life and make it better just seemed to put me on the defensive. Although I THOUGHT I wanted to be happy, I really didn’t.
Rereading some of the same books at a time in my life when I truly was committed to making it the best it possibly could be, they had a completely different meaning for me.

Having experienced this on myself, I am very aware that people don’t necessarily want your advice on how to feel better when they are down. Often, they want pity. Although I don’t always succeed at this, I make an effort not to buy into people’s energy games. Because it doesn’t do them any good. It doesn’t empower them. It just contributes to keeping them stuck where they are.
I had a patient who was always depressed and cried in every treatment. She would say to me ‘Oh Emily, what I am going to do without you when you graduate! Coming to see you is the ONLY thing that helps me!’ As glad as I was that my treatments were helping her, I didn’t want her to look to the outside for a fix and develop a co-dependent relationship with me. It was challenging to be compassionate with her and at the same time firm. I did my best to encourage her and let her know she had the necessary strength within herself.

I know, I, too, sometimes play energy games without realizing it. We all do. I think I do it much less often, though, than when I was a teenager, and I tend to catch myself doing it more quickly. Then I can consciously take a different approach.

Heather, I love how your posts get me to think and take a closer look at my own life and actions! You are wonderful, and I am glad you have come into my life when you did!

with much love,
Emily

P.s.: I, too, thought Maya had some excellent questions for your husband and look forward to reading what he has to say!

]]> By: Heather http://transcendbulimia.com/archives/72/comment-page-1#comment-64 Heather Wed, 05 Apr 2006 20:48:49 +0000 http://transcendbulimia.com/?p=72#comment-64 Hi Heidi, thanks for your comment! It's funny that you ask about pictures of myself. I went back and forth about what to do regarding my identity -- including full name and pictures. I decided against it for the first few months of my blog. The biggest reason being that I wanted to make sure I was completely honest, without any concerns for who might be reading my blog. What's started to happen is that I am in a flow, where I am feeling more and more honest about having had an eating disorder & all my foibles as a human being! This is what I wanted to ensure would happen, so that when my name and picture go out there, they go with the full confidence that I hold nothing back to my readers. That being said, I have plans for updating the website with more information in the next month or so -- a timely question on your part! :) Regarding my husband's post, he plans to put it out this weekned. He really liked Maya's questions as well and wants to make sure he includes answers to all of them -- in addition to those I've gotten in e-mails. So more to come very soon! With love, Heather Hi Heidi, thanks for your comment! It’s funny that you ask about pictures of myself. I went back and forth about what to do regarding my identity — including full name and pictures. I decided against it for the first few months of my blog. The biggest reason being that I wanted to make sure I was completely honest, without any concerns for who might be reading my blog.

What’s started to happen is that I am in a flow, where I am feeling more and more honest about having had an eating disorder & all my foibles as a human being! This is what I wanted to ensure would happen, so that when my name and picture go out there, they go with the full confidence that I hold nothing back to my readers. That being said, I have plans for updating the website with more information in the next month or so — a timely question on your part! :)

Regarding my husband’s post, he plans to put it out this weekned. He really liked Maya’s questions as well and wants to make sure he includes answers to all of them — in addition to those I’ve gotten in e-mails.

So more to come very soon!

With love,
Heather

]]> By: Heidi http://transcendbulimia.com/archives/72/comment-page-1#comment-63 Heidi Wed, 05 Apr 2006 20:36:09 +0000 http://transcendbulimia.com/?p=72#comment-63 Heather, Glad to hear you mention "The Serenity Principle". I will check that book out at the library or bookstore soon. I do believe addictions are addictions be they chemical or food or alcohol. On a different subjuce, how would you feel about adding some pictures of yourself? And how is your husband doing on his entry? I found some of Maya's questions for him very intriguing. :) Heidi Heather,
Glad to hear you mention “The Serenity Principle”. I will check that book out at the library or bookstore soon. I do believe addictions are addictions be they chemical or food or alcohol. On a different subjuce, how would you feel about adding some pictures of yourself? And how is your husband doing on his entry? I found some of Maya’s questions for him very intriguing. :) Heidi

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