Comments on: A Husband’s Point of View – Learning About My Wife’s Eating Disorder http://transcendbulimia.com/archives/77 An Uplifting Journey to Recovery from Bulimia - with Tips and Coaching for Your Own Recovery. Wed, 02 Jul 2008 19:39:40 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 By: Heather http://transcendbulimia.com/archives/77/comment-page-1#comment-129 Heather Thu, 04 May 2006 04:13:21 +0000 http://transcendbulimia.com/?p=77#comment-129 Hi Shelley, thank you for writing in -- I was sorry to have lost your original comment, but your words definitely stayed with me! I want you to know that I support you and stand beside you in my heart -- you definitely have courage! I hope that you have another person in your life who you can talk to, who will understand what you are going through. Before I told anyone, I found some really caring alternative healthcare providers -- they became my support team. Maybe there are some people like that in your area. In the meantime, know that I and this blog community are here for you! With love, Heather Hi Shelley, thank you for writing in — I was sorry to have lost your original comment, but your words definitely stayed with me! I want you to know that I support you and stand beside you in my heart — you definitely have courage! I hope that you have another person in your life who you can talk to, who will understand what you are going through. Before I told anyone, I found some really caring alternative healthcare providers — they became my support team. Maybe there are some people like that in your area. In the meantime, know that I and this blog community are here for you!

With love,
Heather

]]> By: shelley http://transcendbulimia.com/archives/77/comment-page-1#comment-124 shelley Wed, 03 May 2006 01:03:31 +0000 http://transcendbulimia.com/?p=77#comment-124 I was the person whose husband told me he was disgusted by my bulimia. Thank you for your words. I read them over and over and I will think about them a lot. It is lonely to be me and I feel happy that you acknowledged me. Thanks I was the person whose husband told me he was disgusted by my bulimia. Thank you for your words. I read them over and over and I will think about them a lot. It is lonely to be me and I feel happy that you acknowledged me. Thanks

]]> By: Heather http://transcendbulimia.com/archives/77/comment-page-1#comment-109 Heather Tue, 25 Apr 2006 01:53:20 +0000 http://transcendbulimia.com/?p=77#comment-109 Hi Karen, thank you for sharing your family experience. It sounds like overall, Rob has been very supportive. I can understand the part about him saying "why can't you eat?" In my Eating Disorders class this past weekend, we learned that fathers and husbands often feel that way. They want to be practical and fix everything -- and they can't understand why we can't just fix it. It's a learning experience for all of us, isn't it? Somehow, it must make us closer, even if we have to make it through the painful times to get there. My husband and I are still learning, still finding our way. We still have to remind each other what we talked about because new habits take time to create. It sounds to me like Rachel and you have a great relationship now, based on what we've talked about. It just goes to show that everything heals. Love heals. Connecting with one another heals. It's a gratifying process. With love, Heather Hi Karen, thank you for sharing your family experience. It sounds like overall, Rob has been very supportive. I can understand the part about him saying “why can’t you eat?” In my Eating Disorders class this past weekend, we learned that fathers and husbands often feel that way. They want to be practical and fix everything — and they can’t understand why we can’t just fix it.

It’s a learning experience for all of us, isn’t it? Somehow, it must make us closer, even if we have to make it through the painful times to get there. My husband and I are still learning, still finding our way. We still have to remind each other what we talked about because new habits take time to create.

It sounds to me like Rachel and you have a great relationship now, based on what we’ve talked about. It just goes to show that everything heals. Love heals. Connecting with one another heals. It’s a gratifying process.

With love,
Heather

]]> By: karen http://transcendbulimia.com/archives/77/comment-page-1#comment-100 karen Sat, 15 Apr 2006 02:28:05 +0000 http://transcendbulimia.com/?p=77#comment-100 Heather I cant believe your husband is so like mine Rob even in his ignorance got to understand that something was wrong with me from the therapists I hid the fact successfully for about 15 years. But I was always in therapy or family therapy and when my doctros said they couldnt handle it anymore and I wasnt trying to get better He came to realize I needed specialists and hospitalization. He has always been supportive and I think he would give many of the same answers I really admire your husband for his courage and his supportiveness. When my daughter had become anorexic and I fell into relapse I thought I was going to lose him though He had lost his patience and he screamed and yelled and his anger was frightening He was no longer supportive and he just raged Why cant the two of you eat We went through a really bad time Then we went into family counseling and the main thing was to suppport Rachel which we did but we were on two sides she was with him. She really hated me and that eventually led to my breakdown several years later But I am so off the track You are lucky that you have a good supportive husband I feel like every time I write to you or comment I am journaling out my stuff And actually my memory has gotten so bad and I get so many things confused I am lucky to have you It makes me write and makes me remember Thank you Heather I cant believe your husband is so like mine
Rob even in his ignorance got to understand that something was wrong with me from the therapists
I hid the fact successfully for about 15 years. But I was always in therapy or family therapy and when my doctros said they couldnt handle it anymore and I wasnt trying to get better He came to realize I needed specialists and hospitalization.
He has always been supportive and I think he would give many of the same answers
I really admire your husband for his courage and his supportiveness.
When my daughter had become anorexic and I fell into relapse I thought I was going to lose him though He had lost his patience and he screamed and yelled and his anger was frightening He was no longer supportive and he just raged Why cant the two of you eat
We went through a really bad time
Then we went into family counseling and the main thing was to suppport Rachel which we did but we were on two sides she was with him. She really hated me and that eventually led to my breakdown several years later
But I am so off the track You are lucky that you have a good supportive husband
I feel like every time I write to you or comment I am journaling out my stuff
And actually my memory has gotten so bad and I get so many things confused I am lucky to have you It makes me write and makes me remember
Thank you

]]> By: Heather http://transcendbulimia.com/archives/77/comment-page-1#comment-82 Heather Tue, 11 Apr 2006 22:51:14 +0000 http://transcendbulimia.com/?p=77#comment-82 Hi Maya and Emily, I'm glad this was helpful to you. Maya, many of the questions were yours and my husband and I appreciated that you asked so many good ones! I think it made his post a lot easier with questions to follow! Emily, you and J have been so inspirational in your relationship and I've enjoyed reading about it on your blog. It's another testament to the fact that relationships can survive addictions and ED, especially when both partners are willing to do what it takes to communicate openly and provide unconditional love. It's hope for us all! With love, Heather Hi Maya and Emily, I’m glad this was helpful to you. Maya, many of the questions were yours and my husband and I appreciated that you asked so many good ones! I think it made his post a lot easier with questions to follow!

Emily, you and J have been so inspirational in your relationship and I’ve enjoyed reading about it on your blog. It’s another testament to the fact that relationships can survive addictions and ED, especially when both partners are willing to do what it takes to communicate openly and provide unconditional love. It’s hope for us all!

With love,
Heather

]]> By: Emily http://transcendbulimia.com/archives/77/comment-page-1#comment-73 Emily Mon, 10 Apr 2006 17:09:30 +0000 http://transcendbulimia.com/?p=77#comment-73 Thank you, both of you! Maya expressed my sentiment exactly! I look forward to my husband reading this entry. I'm sure it will make him feel a little less alone in what he is dealing with, and it will give both of us food for thought and provide inspiration for approaching challenges in our own relationship. Thank you, both, for shining your light in such a way that it illuminates the path of others! sincerely, Emily Thank you, both of you! Maya expressed my sentiment exactly!

I look forward to my husband reading this entry. I’m sure it will make him feel a little less alone in what he is dealing with, and it will give both of us food for thought and provide inspiration for approaching challenges in our own relationship.

Thank you, both, for shining your light in such a way that it illuminates the path of others!

sincerely,
Emily

]]> By: Maya http://transcendbulimia.com/archives/77/comment-page-1#comment-72 Maya Mon, 10 Apr 2006 13:20:33 +0000 http://transcendbulimia.com/?p=77#comment-72 Sincerest thanks to you both for your sharing your story in such an honest and inspiring way. I appreciate your bravery and candour so much, and your words are an invaluable resource for my own recovery. With respect and good wishes, Maya Sincerest thanks to you both for your sharing your story in such an honest and inspiring way. I appreciate your bravery and candour so much, and your words are an invaluable resource for my own recovery.

With respect and good wishes,

Maya

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