In my recovery from bulimia, I’ve learned how important energy is. We’ve all heard that “everything is energy” and it’s taken me about a year of study and conscious awareness of my own intuition, emotions, negative thoughts, positive thoughts and behaviors to realize how much energy affects my life.

In fact, after about a year on the Body Ecology Diet, I just stumbled across the whole concept of “energy work” from reading an article by Carol Tuttle.

Carol Tuttle recovered from bulimia, binge eating and depression. She also struggled with being in debt and came out of that as well. She’s been there and done it all — and it was law of attraction and energy work that allowed her to create the life she loves.

Already a believer in law of attraction, I began to study energy work with Carol.

My life changed dramatically and it was at this time that I realized why the Body Ecology program REALLY worked for me: it was high energy, healing food. AND…I believed in it.
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This is part 3 of a continuing series about relapses that started with a great question from Miss Blue. Since then, Becca and Tracey have also asked some great questions, so I’m continuing here in part 3 to answer Becca’s question about what I do or don’t do in recovery. In my next post, I’ll share some of the things that have been most helpful to me — but in this post, you’ll learn why no list is helpful…until you read this….

Bulimia recovery regimens. We love them. Everyone has THE way and THE answer — we’ve probably tried most of them. I know I have.

Most of the time, I’d give something the old college try for about a week, two weeks — maybe even a month — before succumbing to a relapse and declaring that nothing worked. This is “just the way I am.”

When I finally did recover, one of the keys was to stick with my plan and let a new habit take over. Every day, I had to choose into my plan again and again, with deep focus and commitment. Sometimes, it felt like a tightrope act between rules and “anything goes.” Most importantly, it was my faith and belief in my plan that made it work. And of course, a good dose of coaching and support along the way!

So, once I declared myself “recovered,” I was ecstatic. You know how that feels if you’ve gone any length of time longer than your usual record without a binge or binge and purge. I felt like I could do anything.

And you know, the truth is, we CAN do anything, but more about that in a moment….

The only trick was that a new fear came in….”how long will this last?” My brain would do that thing our brains are so good at doing — “Well, you’ve never been able to recover before, so why now?”
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In part 2 of this post on bulimia recovery and relapses, I am continuing with my answer to Miss Blue on why, after recovery, I might fall into some of the same habits (e.g., doing work I hate, whether I fear success, etc.).

I also got a great question from Becca, so in my next post, I’ll focus on the part she was interested in: Thinking I had to DO things or not DO things to stay recovered”.

Here are some of the topics I’ll be covering in my upcoming posts:

• Perfectionism
• Negative body image
• Overwork and overwhelm… or, taking on too much
• Money fears/fear of doing what I love
• Fear of not being good enough
• Thinking I had to DO things or not DO things to stay recovered (more fear)
• Need for approval
• Hiding my true self in my marriage
• Fear of people “finding out” I had bulimia
• Playing small with my friends

In part 1 of this post, I left off by talking about the relapse that happened after I had gotten into recovery.

As I look back, here are some key relapse symptoms (really, symptoms of bulimia) I ignored:

• Getting enough sleep (I was dropping down to 4 - 6 hours per night just to keep up with a heavy work load)
• Having more negative thoughts, which felt like worry, fear, anxiety and discomfort.
• Spending more time doing things I did not like and with people I did not like (as part of the work situation that some of the execs at my old company still apologize for putting me and my team through!)
• Not speaking my truth - not speaking up for what I really wanted (why did I allow myself to stay in this situation when most of the company knew it was intolerable?)
• And as time passed, the old symptom of bulimia…Stronger cravings for foods that I knew did not nourish or satsify me (the old binge foods).

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When I was in my corporate job, I worked with Pam Ragland as my business coach. She helped me create my vision, make my overworked executive job into a more balanced schedule and finally, exit my job and start my new business and lifestyle.

Before I started working with Pam, I was interested in becoming a coach, which was a small part of the reason I hired my own coach!

The process of coaching produced so many amazing changes in my life that I was sold on the life-changing impact that coaches can have on people’s lives. And all we had to do was meet by phone once per week!

Within one year of writing my vision and focusing on it daily, I had achieved my vision of starting my own business and living in the Caribbean. Shortly after I left my corporate job, I took Pam’s Thought Shifting ™ class. In this class, I learned how my thoughts could either help or hinder me in my life and work. Pam also created a process that energetically shifted us to a higher level of consciousness. I’m not sure how it works, but it uses Law of Attraction and quantum physics. Regardless, I found myself feeling happy for no reason shortly after taking the class.
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Miss Blue had some really great questions from a previous blog entry and I felt like it deserved a well-thought-out response. I know I write mostly about what I’ve learned or am learning, which may not always give you a picture of what’s really happening in my day to day life.

Mostly, I tend to be a big picture or systems thinker, so I often think in terms of concepts, rather than details.

This clearly comes out when I write, so I am always grateful for readers like Miss Blue, who ask me questions that come up from my writing. Miss Blue, you mentioned that you hesitated to ask and I want to encourage you to always feel comfortable to ask! I’m out here with you to share information that will be of use — and of course, how wonderful to get questions that make me think and inspire me to open a new door!

Today, I’m going to talk about recovery, relapses and why I feel like bulimia, depression and addiction has been such a gift in my life. To do this, I’ll bring you with me into some experiences I’ve had where I’ve gotten off track and talk about why.

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I wanted to share this article from Gary Craig’s Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) website. This excerpt, written by a doctor is amazing!

He covers evertything from IBS, back pain, depression, panic attacks, anxiety, migraines and emotional eating. This doctor learned that energy work can help with chronic unresolved illness and emotional issues. His finding is that our bodies store this pain because we cannot deal with the emotions, beliefs or trauma that cause us pain, so we suppress them.

Our body then experiences pain as a way to divert us from having to deal with the pain. This is the same finding that Dr. Darren Weissman had when creating the Lifeline Technique and writing his book, The Power of Infinite Love & Gratitude.

This is a long article, but worth reading - take a look at the parts I bolded which pertain to eating disorders and self-sabotage in recovery.

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