Many of you know that part of my recovery proceses was resolving physical pain I had experienced since way before bulimia ever showed up in my life.
Yet just as important, I had started to change emotionally and spiritually as well. The interesting thing is, for me, it wasn’t until I reached a level of physical balance that everything clicked into place.
I know that everyone is different…healing is very personal and can vary with each individual.
But it seems that one thing is true for everyone. And it’s this idea of balance. I would define balance as feeling centered and grounded. It does not mean that everything is “perfect” all the time. Someone once said that it’s like being on a seesaw — sometimes you’re up, sometimes you’re down and sometimes you’re evenly balanced in the middle. The idea is NOT to stay stagnant, but to have a sense that there is a flow…and to trust that flow.
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Over the past 4 months, I have been in the process of writing a book. At first, I was pushing and forcing myself to write, which started to feel like pressure…pretty soon, the book writing moved from passion to pressure!
Have you ever done that? Felt like you really wanted to do something and then set all kinds of unrealitic goals for yourself…until you felt overwhelmed or pressured? Well, there I was, at the brink of blaming myself for not being fast enough or productive enough (remember my theme from the previous couple of posts?)…until I stopped just shy of going there.
See, while I’m still practicing, I am finally getting it. I can create my own goals that FEEL GOOD in terms of the pace I set — so that I can stay in balance in my life. So that I can love the goals I am passionate about. And so they don’t turn from passion to pressure.
So I shifted my focus to ALLOWING.
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